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 To Merely Exist [Ellam]

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Amber Carter

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PostSubject: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Oct 15, 2017 1:50 pm

1st Saturday of September || 16


Stepping out of her room -- for she had opted to take the boarding options in school, rather than travel there each day; for those with teleportation or flying as a power, it was easy for them to get to and fro school -- Amber glanced around to make sure she wasn't going to step out into someone before heading down the corridor, leaving the dorms altogether. She'd decided on a simple dress. A pair of simple bicycle short on underneath in case she decided to do anything more physical later on that day, she adjusted the bag on her shoulder as she moved towards the exit of the building and out into the gardens.

It was too beautiful a day to stay indoors, and with it being a weekend, she wasn't going to sit anywhere with four walls. Besides, she'd heard that most of her dorm-mates were planning on studying in the library for an upcoming test, and she didn't want to be there for that. While she mostly had her ability under control, if she let her mind wander or didn't actively put up her mental shield, she still got fragments of thoughts. And, with it being Saturday, she wasn't in the mood to be concentrating; she wanted to just sit and relax for a while.

So, finding a large, shady tree, she sat herself down and pulled out a notebook. She hadn't written a poem in a long time, and she glanced at the last one* she'd written.

It had been about Elleon, not that she'd say as much; most of what she wrote nowadays was about him. Smiling slightly to herself, she leaned back against the tree, notebook open on lap, and closed her eyes, taking in the warmth and environment around her. The poems could wait. All she wanted now was to simply exist.


[[*OOC: Citing Christopher Poindexter as the original author of the poem; I am NOT the author, nor is 'Amber'. I'm only using his stuff as 'hers' because it's the style she writes in, and I can't write poems.]]

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Elleon Caverly

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:36 pm

Sketchbook in hand, Elleon exited the school building and headed out into the sunshine. It was still the beginning of September, and the atmosphere held the warmness of the summer. He had two goals in mind: find Amber, and see if she would allow him to sketch a portrait of her. The first part wasn't a problem. He knew her well enough to know that a day like this would be too tempting for her to resist. She would be outdoors somewhere. Even without using his powers to locate her, he knew very well that she would be near the woods. It was a place where they sometimes hung out together.

Thoughts of her brought a smile to his face. They had such an easy friendship, something special that Elleon didn't want to destroy by voicing exactly what she meant to him. He wanted more but at the same time, wasn't willing to risk losing what they had. It wasn't that she wasn't worth the risk -- because really, she was worth everything to him -- but he didn't want her to distance herself and make things awkward if she didn't reciprocate his feelings. He would be content with what they had for now. Of course, she could read minds and if she wanted, could easily know how he really felt. But like him, she didn't abuse her powers. People had the right to privacy.

He entered the woodlands, his feet absently making their way to where they knew Amber would be, his footsteps quiet against the blanket of grass. It didn't take long for him to find her and he stopped at a distance, a soft smile on his face as he saw her with her eyes closed and her back against a tree. It was the perfect pose for him to sketch and he took a moment to memorise the details - the angle of the sun against her cheek, the way her hair fell just so, the blonde strands like an extension of the sun's rays, the way her fingers clutched the notebook in which he knew she wrote poems. She had yet to show him what she wrote about. He constantly teased her about it, but respected her enough not to push.

Taking a breath, he continued forward, seating himself beside her and waiting for her to open her eyes.

"Hi!" he greeted her, waving his hand. "Found you!" He glanced at the notebook in her hands. "You writing more poems?

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Amber Carter

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:58 pm

She's s--

Almost instantly her shield was up, the silence in her brain confirming it. It was something so second nature, she didn't even have to think about doing it anymore, and she'd gotten so good at it, she only needed a split second before she'd blocked out all thoughts, although the voice she'd heard in her mind was no doubt Elleon's. She'd recognise him anywhere, even if she couldn't hear him approaching.

Her eyes flew open and she broke into a grin, subconsciously closing her notebook a little. As much as she trusted Elleon, as much as she loved him and knew him, she had yet to show him her poems. It wasn't that she didn't think he'd like them, nor was it that she thought she'd mock her. She knew he wouldn't, knew that he'd tell her they were amazing (even if they weren't, not all).

It was simply that they were about him and she couldn't risk him finding out how she felt. They'd come so far in their friendship. She did not want to ruin it with 'like' and 'love' and all those other things that typically ruined friendships. She'd seen it before, in some of her friends; they wasted a perfectly good friendship by confessing feelings, and Amber appreciated and cared for Elleon too much to want that to happen.

"Hello!" she replied, grinning at him. She may have been somewhat uncomfortable with and around others, but with Elleon, she was comfortable. She could talk to him and just be herself. "I am." Looking at the book in his hands, she raised her eyebrows. "Did you come to draw?"

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Elleon Caverly

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Nov 26, 2017 5:25 pm

"Show me?" he asked, as he always did. He didn't do it often, just when the subject came up, but when he did, it was always in a teasing manner, never one that obligated her to show her writing if she didn't want to. Elleon himself had his own personal work, paintings and drawing that bared his soul and into which he poured his emotions and thoughts. Some of them were abstract enough the people would probably not have a clue about the story behind it. Regardless, he didn't feel comfortable showing them, just because he knew exactly what he'd been thinking at the time he created it. That was the thing about art. It was deeply personal and could express so much more than words ever could. At least, that's the way he saw it.

He nodded at her question, sliding the bag off his shoulder and taking out his set of charcoal pencils. They'd spent time together like that before with him drawing or painting and with her writing. Their friendship was one that didn't require constant interaction. Just being in each other's company was relaxing and peaceful. Of course, there were times when they could converse for ages about anything and everything, but there were also time when they would just be.

He flipped his sketchbook to a clean page, biting the lower left corner of his lip as he contemplated how to ask her his question. "I also came her to look for you," he began. "I...uh...I wanted to ask you for your permission to sketch a portrait of you." He'd done many sketches of Amber before but none with her actually sitting in front of him. It had always been from his memory, a look he'd wanted to capture on paper -- a laugh, a smile, a gleam in the eye. Now, he wanted to do a proper portrait sketch.

Knowing how his request sounded, he quickly added, "I do portraits of all my family, and was wondering if you'd be okay with me doing one of you." She didn't need to stay stone-still. He'd do a rough outline, capture all the important details and perfect it later. It wasn't ideal, but some people just couldn't sit still. If she could though, that would be perfect.

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Nov 26, 2017 5:45 pm

The question brought a smile to her lips as she contemplated it. He always asked -- although in jest, she knew -- and she always considered it as though the first time he asked. Maybe one day she would say yes and bare her emotions for him to see; maybe one day she would overcome the anxiety that told her she would ruin the best friendship she'd ever had in her entire life and take a chance. But that day was not today, and she gently shook her head. "Maybe later," she replied, the two words she always gave him when he asked. So far, 'maybe later' had yet to happen.

She watched as he took position beside her, although she was familiar with his steps. It was funny, how they could spend time together without the need to look at the other or talk. Their hands were used for other things, after all, one drawing and one writing. Sometimes, Elleon would show her what he'd been working on, and sometimes he didn't. She never looked until and unless she felt the tap on her shoulder or see the wave of a hand; it wasn't polite, after all, and she knew privacy was important.

As she looked at him, she caught his facial expression, the biting of his lower lip, and curiosity immediately rose inside her. He only did that when considering something that he didn't quite know how to phrase, a trait she wasn't sure he knew he had. She waited, not pushing him, until she saw his hands move, and her eyes flitted to watch them. When he'd finished, she blinked a couple times, not sure how to respond.

A drawing was intimate, much like the poems she'd read about him. Could it be that he felt the same? Could it be that he wanted to draw her because, like she wrote about him, he didn't know how else to express his emotions? But then he went on, and she felt the hope die off. Of course he didn't; what was she thinking? Making herself smile a little, although she didn't truly want to, she nodded. "Only if you show me after," she said, teasingly.

If anyone else had asked, she wouldn't have said yes. It was an intimate thing, to capture the essence of someone, and the thought left her rather uncomfortable. But for Elleon, for him, she would push past whatever discomfort she felt and allow him. She liked him enough for that, trusted him enough.

Did that mean he considered her family, though? A sister? She pushed past the thoughts; she would dwell on them later, when she was alone. "What do you need me to do?" she asked.

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:11 am

She gave the answer he'd been expecting and he responded with a cheerful grin. The day would soon come -- he hoped -- when she would surprise him and actually agree to it. But if she never did, that was alright too. He'd shown her some of his drawings, mainly the ones he'd doodled absentmindedly in class, a few animal ones, and the one he'd done on a discarded piece of white tile using only his fingers and paint.

With bated breath, he waited for her resopnse. Would she oblige him? Say no? Say something else? He knew that some people found it uncomfortable to be drawn, especially when they were self-conscious. It had taken quite a lot to convince his mother to allow him to sketch her portrait and she'd only agreed to it if both his father and Jelena were in the same portrait. He'd done individual ones of them previously, but had acquiesced to his mother's request.

When Amber's only condition was that he show her the final work, he nodded and smiled. "No problem," he responded, elated that she'd agreed to it.

At her question, he thought for a while. In this portrait, he wanted to capture the essence of her, who she really was to him and what he saw in her. The best way to do that was for her to be relaxed. Oftentimes, when people posed for a photo or portrait, they looked too stiff, the smile fake, the body angled just so. While that worked in particular contexts, Elleon preferred the candid shot to the posed one. That was when they let their guard down and showed more of themselves to the world, their personaily shining through.

"Just relax," he said. "Smile, write, talk. You don't really need to pose. Just be yourself."

Crossing his legs, he set the sketchbook on his lap and went through his collection of charcoal pencils, finally selecting one that he thought was suitable. Frowning a little in concentration, he put it to the paper, already seeing in his mind's eye the final work. It was a miracle -- creating something from nothing, producing something that only he could do, something that no one else could replicate.

He worked in silence for a while, making the basic structure of her face and glancing up at her every now and then. It wasn't really necessary for him to have his eyes on her; he'd memorised every detail of her face. It wasn't something that he'd done consciously but somehow he could always picture her in his mind exactly like she was in real life. Perhaps it was the artist in him or the close connection he shared with her, but it came in very handy.

He was planning on making a half-body portrait. All the previous ones he'd done had been close-ups of her face, the play of emotions in her eyes being the main focus. This one would be different, showing her in the setting of the woods, the sunlight creating a halo around her head, and the wind playing in her hair.

After a few minutes, when he'd gotten the foundation of the sketch done, he met her eyes. "How has your day been?" he asked, putting down his current pencil and picking up another that would produce a darker shade.


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Amber Carter

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PostSubject: Re: To Merely Exist [Ellam]   Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:03 pm

Nodding at his instructions, she opened her book to a fresh page and took out her pencil. It was difficult, pretending to be natural when she knew Elleon was just feet away, capturing the moment in pencil. Her mind kept wandering to the most insignificant things.

Never before did she care whether she had a spot on her chin, or if a pimple had decided to make an appearance on her forehead. She normally did her hair in the morning, to an extent, but she never actively thought if it was messy or sticking out throughout the day. She fought against the temptation to raise a hand and pat it into shape; it wasn't natural. Were her clothes alright, or did she need to straighten it?

And most importantly, why did it matter?

Because you want to impress him, she thought, the answer coming almost immediately. She pushed the thought aside like it was an annoying fly, but her mental shield only worked against other's thoughts, and not her own.

Every so often, she glanced up at him, eyes flitting to watch the back of the sketchpad, seeing his hands moving, before darting back to her own page, where she had written two lines:

he stands apart
from the rest

She sighed lightly. Once again it seemed her poem was about him. Movement caught her attention and she glanced back up to meet his eyes -- and as they met, a brief, throwaway line for the poem flashed in her mind: those stunning copper pieces -- and took in the words.

"Can't complain," she replied, smiling. "And you?"

They settled into a sort of temporary routine, chatting about this and that as they did their own respective art -- he, drawing, and her, writing -- before falling silent completely, drawn into what they were doing. Normally her poems were written quickly, in a span of a few minutes, but this one was causing her problems, and she took forever to write a single line, puzzling and stressing over which words to use. She wanted this to be perfect, for some reason, and it was also distracting to have the subject sitting in front of her.

But finally, she finished, glancing over at him to see how he was getting along, her cheeks warm not because of the air but because of what she'd done; she never wrote a poem about Elleon while he was there. Yet, it had felt... right, somehow. It captured him and her and whatever they were quite perfectly. Quietly, to herself, she resolved that if he asked -- and he hardly ever did -- she would show it to him. She was tired of pretending; tired of faking. Her emotions were too strong for her to continue doing this day in and day out. It was a scary thought, confessing, but the idea brought a strange sense of comfort, like laying down after a long day of work. Part of her hoped he would ask, just for that full sensation of rest, and part of her wanted it to go on for just a bit longer; there was no telling how he'd react, and she didn't want to lose her best friend because she couldn't keep her mouth shut (or rather, hands still).

She waited until he caught her eyes. "How is yours coming along?"

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